Men Leave Treatment Because of Their Codependency!
I am writing to propose some level of cooperation between professionals writing about and treating codependency and the professionals staffs of treatment centers in order to improve retention and ultimately long-term recovery for clients by providing some missing pieces for families whose lives are being ravaged by the co morbid diseases of addiction and codependency. Here is a quote taken directly from the back cover of our book written by Dr. Joseph Moons, C.P., Retreat Director, Holy Name Retreat Center , Houston, Texas;
“There is a need for this book for codependent men. In my association with the many men and women who attend 12-step retreats at Holy Name Passionist Retreat Center, the codependent men have the greatest fear and the least knowledge or understanding of their relationship with the addicted person in their life. As the man in the family, they are supposed to have the answers and they don’t. This book begins to give some answers.”
Looking deeper, during the three months since our book was released; we have been on a steep learning curve about how treatment centers fit into the recovery picture. An “unintended consequence” of our researching the book has been the realization that the principle underlying cause for men dropping out of treatment has been unresolved codependency issues with a family member, usually a woman. For example, when the new client to a treatment center first contacts his “significant other” from the center, he is often faced with a new set of problems that he had not anticipated when he agreed to enter recovery. Sometimes a wife will say something like “…now there is proof that you are an addict/alcoholic, and I’m divorcing you.” Another tragic response might come from a live-in girlfriend who says something like “…I still enjoy my partying, and if you are going to become a goody-two-shoes and get all clean I am out of here!”
In either case, the man drops out of treatment to rush out and try to “fix a problem” that he incorrectly perceives he can fix (codependency). In either case, we believe that even an elementary understanding of codependency that he could gain during his first week in treatment (by reading only a few pages of our book) would greatly increase the chances that he would remain in recovery long enough to enjoy long-term recovery from his own addiction.If you are a treatment professionals reading this, PLEASE call us ASAP and let's discuss this. We are willing to provide a broad-based book on codependency addressing all of the members of the family...spouses of both sexes, children, parents, and even grandparents. This could be the core of a treatment center's program to raise retention rates among their clients by educating both the client and his family members about their own unresolved codependency issues!
See new book, We Codependent Men-We Mute Coyotes which can be ordered at this web site;
http://recoverytradepublications.com/
